My son is 11 years old. He is my early bird. Some of my favorite moments are during those early morning hours when it’s just us... before the chaos of the day begins... when everyone else is still asleep...
About two weeks ago, I (like everyone else on the planet) had lots of thoughts and worries and fears on my mind that had kept me up all night...again. On this particular morning, my sweet boy snuggled up to me on our living room couch. It was quiet and peaceful. But my mind was still flooded with questions that seemed to have no answers. I looked over at my son and asked him “what is fear?” not expecting to be met with answers that would follow...
“Something I’m afraid of.” He made it personal. No parent ever wants their child to be fearful. But we know it’s inevitable. There will always be something that we are afraid of. Even as adults. It may be a fear of failure, or of being alone, or maybe even spiders. Whatever it may be, it can be crippling and leave us feeling hopeless. So...
“What should we do with it?” I did not have to wait long for his answer. Little did I know that the next few words would begin to shape my own perception of fear and how I respond to it in my own life.
“Change it...to something good.”
It was his pause that stood out to me at first. As if I was watching him work out the simple yet profound reality of his own resolve. How wonderful to believe that fear does not need to stay as it is!! It is not an immovable force with unchanging ominous clouds. It CAN change. And maybe it’s not as difficult as we may think.
He did not say “forget it”... he said “change it.” What does that even look like?? I suppose, if you want to change something you have to know what you want to change it to. But first, you have to believe it is possible. Did I believe that my fear can change into something else?
“Something good.” There was no question mark that followed his reply. He did not look up at me to see my reaction. And he did not have to. He was right. My eyes filled with tears as I realized all my fears were not affixed to my life. They were not birthmarks or inoperable malformations. They were changeable. But I did need to believe that changing my fear to something good is possible. So, what does that look like?
I’m not sure what it looks like for you, but I can say this....
Instead of letting the fear control you.. YOU get to control the fear. You get to decide how much power and influence it has in your world.
You get to face the bad guy in your dream and say STOP CHASING ME! To wake up and turn around and say “You will not steal my rest!”
You get to pick up the paint brush and add the colors that make you feel safe, and cover all the ones that rob you of joy!
Fear does not need to define you. YOU get to change it. What does that look like for you? I’m not sure... but I know it will be something good.
Missy Bennett