“I did not take any pics of me or my injuries. I know there were photos taken of me for court. But I disposed of every picture I could find during those years. I was so embarrassed, and wanted to keep it all a secret, as I did not want to be judged. I was an educated graduate from a great college, who had her life together, and a great job. It was so embarrassing to me for others to see me as weak and naive, as if I couldn't stand up for myself. That is not who I was. So personally, the more I hid, the better.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
THAT NIGHT…
“I asked him not to drink, and took his 6 pack and put on front porch. Then went back to cooking dinner. Then he snapped. The pushing, slamming me into walls, and putting hands around my throat or holding me down on the floor, or getting in my face and spitting on me was normal behavior. But this time, he punched me, breaking my jaw, and I fell back, hitting the back of my head on the countertop. I blacked out. I woke up to him taking my truck and leaving me alone in the house with my 3 month old son. I called someone I trusted who came and called an ambulance, and kept it all a secret from my mom and others, as I requested. I got taken to the ER I worked in at the time. It was as embarrassing as can be. And they put me on the “Jane Doe” secret names list, with only certain people allowed to take care of me or come to my room. The Dr. on duty, who was a great friend, filed the charges and forced the state to step in. I was in the hospital for 10 days, as they were trying to keep me safe until they got him - which was 8 days later.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
THE AFTERMATH
“As a result of that injury, I have a pinched off occipital nerve from the blunt force trauma of my head slamming into the countertop, and have suffered from excruciating headaches for over a decade - had to have 22 steroidal injections monthly in the back of my head and neck for years to manage the pain and treat the damage. I am still in therapy to this day.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
THE SENTENCE
“He got 90 days in jail, because he had an existing criminal record - DUI, assault and battery, etc. He was ordered by the court to pay the medical expenses, but never paid. Its probably 100’s of thousands of dollars in the end. But I’d rather just handle it than have any type of contact ever.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
FINAL THOUGHTS…
“I used to be attracted to charity cases…people with things I thought I could help or fix. And I have always been a people pleaser… to a fault. I'm also not one to judge people. I try to see the good in everyone, still to this day, and give people benefit of doubt. No one's past should be held against them at all times.
I have tried hard to heal the best I can - lots and lots of super glue to hold the broken pieces together. Some days I have to add more glue when the pieces fall apart, but in the end, I deserve to live my best life, and need to be here for my kids.”
-Rebecca, age 37