Bone chilling facts about Teen Dating Violence

 

This is devastating! And it is happening right where you are…in your town, your city, or maybe even in your own home. Please be aware…the lives of our kids everywhere depend on us!

BONE CHILLING FACTS ABOUT TEEN VIOLENCE:

• Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year. (1)

  • One in three girls in the US is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence. (2)

  • One in ten high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend. (3)

    Why Focus on Young People?

    • Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, almost triple the national average. (4)

  • Among female victims of intimate partner violence, 94% of those age 16-19 and 70% of those age 20-24 were victimized by a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend. (5)

  • Violent behavior often begins between the ages of 12 and 18. (6)

  • The severity of intimate partner violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence. (7)

    Don’t Forget About College Students

    • Nearly half (43%) of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors. (8)

  • College students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse – 57% say it is difficult to identify and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it. (9)

  • One in three (36%) dating college students has given a dating partner their computer, email or social network passwords and these students are more likely to experience digital dating abuse. (1)0

  • One in six (16%) college women has been sexually abused in a dating relationship. (11)

    Long-lasting Effects

    • Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications by putting the victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence. (12)

  • Being physically or sexually abused makes teen girls six times more likely to become pregnant and twice as likely to get a STD. (13)

  • Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide, compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys. (14)

  • Lack of Awareness

  • Only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse. (15)

  • Eighty-one (81) percent of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue. (16)

  • Though 82% of parents feel confident that they could recognize the signs if their child was experiencing dating abuse, a majority of parents (58%) could not correctly identify all the warning signs of abuse. (17)

If you think your child might be in an abusive dating relationship, but are not sure, here are some signs to look for:

  • She apologizes for his behavior and makes excuses for him.

  • She loses interest in activities that she used to enjoy.

  • She stops seeing friends and family members and becomes more and more isolated.

  • When your daughter and her boyfriend are together, he calls her names and puts her down in front of other people.

  • He acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to her, especially other guys.

  • He thinks or tells your daughter that you (her parents) don’t like him.

  • He controls her behavior, checking up on her constantly, calling and texting her, demanding to know who she has been with.

  • She casually mentions his violent behavior, but laughs it off as a joke.

  • You see him violently lose his temper, striking or breaking objects.

  • She often has unexplained injuries, or the explanations she offers don’t make sense.

Click here for A Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence: 10 Questions to Start the Conversation from www.breakthecycle.org

*Footnotes, articles, and references

For more information on teen dating violence, answers to questions, and other helpful resources, please visit TEENDATINGVIOLENCE.ORG

 

"What is fear?"...

fear wide.PNG

My son is 11 years old. He is my early bird. Some of my favorite moments are during those early morning hours when it’s just us... before the chaos of the day begins... when everyone else is still asleep...

About two weeks ago, I (like everyone else on the planet) had lots of thoughts and worries and fears on my mind that had kept me up all night...again. On this particular morning, my sweet boy snuggled up to me on our living room couch. It was quiet and peaceful. But my mind was still flooded with questions that seemed to have no answers. I looked over at my son and asked him “what is fear?” not expecting to be met with answers that would follow...

“Something I’m afraid of.” He made it personal. No parent ever wants their child to be fearful. But we know it’s inevitable. There will always be something that we are afraid of. Even as adults. It may be a fear of failure, or of being alone, or maybe even spiders. Whatever it may be, it can be crippling and leave us feeling hopeless. So...

“What should we do with it?” I did not have to wait long for his answer. Little did I know that the next few words would begin to shape my own perception of fear and how I respond to it in my own life.

“Change it...to something good.”

It was his pause that stood out to me at first. As if I was watching him work out the simple yet profound reality of his own resolve. How wonderful to believe that fear does not need to stay as it is!! It is not an immovable force with unchanging ominous clouds. It CAN change. And maybe it’s not as difficult as we may think.

He did not say “forget it”... he said “change it.” What does that even look like?? I suppose, if you want to change something you have to know what you want to change it to. But first, you have to believe it is possible. Did I believe that my fear can change into something else?

“Something good.” There was no question mark that followed his reply. He did not look up at me to see my reaction. And he did not have to. He was right. My eyes filled with tears as I realized all my fears were not affixed to my life. They were not birthmarks or inoperable malformations. They were changeable. But I did need to believe that changing my fear to something good is possible. So, what does that look like? 

I’m not sure what it looks like for you, but I can say this....

Instead of letting the fear control you.. YOU get to control the fear. You get to decide how much power and influence it has in your world.

You get to face the bad guy in your dream and say STOP CHASING ME! To wake up and turn around and say “You will not steal my rest!” 

You get to pick up the paint brush and add the colors that make you feel safe, and cover all the ones that rob you of joy! 

Fear does not need to define you. YOU get to change it. What does that look like for you? I’m not sure... but I know it will be something good.

  • Missy Bennett